ourselfs:

you:

me:

nicevagina:

if a girl is mean to you just tell her she has bad eyebrows 

  • What she says: I'm fine
  • What she means: I'd consider myself a realist, alright? But in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist. I think human consciousness is a tragic misstep in evolution. We became too self-aware. Nature created an aspect of nature separate from itself. We are creatures that should not exist by natural law. We are things that labor under the illusion of having a self, that accretion of sensory experience and feelings, programmed with total assurance that we are each somebody, when in fact everbody's nobody. I think the honorable thing for our species to do is to deny our programming. Stop reproducing. Walk hand in hand into extinction. One last midnight, brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.

lawwz:

I wish we could donate body fat to those in need.

calebtheraconteur:

bestnatesmithever:

theinvisiblegentleman:

Buster Keaton (October 4, 1895 – February 1, 1966), “The Great Stone Face”

A man famous for directing and acting in silent films, his deadpan expression, physical comedy, and, featured above, his stunt performance.  This man did all his own stunts, and they are amazing.

How did he do that second one!?!? @

By being Buster Keaton.

panicrobot:

This man was our president for EIGHT YEARS. We are never gonna live this down

stylinsobss:

9.19.14
theamazingindi:

diacrit:

"If you buy your girlfriend flowers, they will wilt. If you but your girlfriend a phone, it will break. Buy your girlfriend a wrench. Nothing will happen to a wrench."

this is painfully russian

theamazingindi:

diacrit:

"If you buy your girlfriend flowers, they will wilt. If you but your girlfriend a phone, it will break. Buy your girlfriend a wrench. Nothing will happen to a wrench."

this is painfully russian

tyrabanker:

plot twist black is the new orange